Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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