he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
