I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
