I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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