was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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