Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
