so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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