so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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