Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize