Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize