just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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