I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
