The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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