found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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