yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Found your dick twin last night
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
