He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
