two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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