he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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