That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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