Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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