I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
As shirtless as possible
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
