He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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