I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
