you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
