My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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