My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
