I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
