Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
two words...techno handjob
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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