the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
