i jhust puked up my retainher.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
