is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
