im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
