does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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