It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
