That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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