how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
as a side note pls kill me
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
