I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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