The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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