I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
