that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
