she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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