For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
