I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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