it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
