Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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