Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize