Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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