somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
