here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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