Fine. I'll sleep in my office
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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