Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
