? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
