Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
