that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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