Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize