careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
