just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
