I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
