They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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