See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
